alright well I enlisted in the Maryland Army National Guard on June 27th as a 13F Fire Support Specialist. Basically that means I'm going to be a forward observer, and I got assigned to a cavalry unit. That means M2 Bradleys and humvees. I ship off to basic in October and will be finished all of my training in March. That's 18 weeks of training, with a 2 week break for Christmas and New Years. I wish the soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan got a 2 week break to go home for Christmas and New Years...or whatever holiday they may celebrate.
I also figured I'd post this, seeing as how it'd make any guy want to join the military
I fucking hate school. I am remembering why I failed and dropped out of college last fall semester. I'm taking one summer class right now and I just hate it. I love history and it's a history class, but I just hate school so I hate this class. I don't want to write papers, take tests, and read all this shit....I just want to be lectured. I went from actually wanting to learn the subject to just wanting to pass the class. So now I go to class and just ignore the professor, and read what I'm supposed to. That's not how I want to learn, and I'm not really learning anything through this. But if I just listen to the professor instead of reading, I won't pass the class...and this is why I hate school. I can't learn shit the way I want to, I have to do it how the professor wants me to learn...and I'm stubborn as hell when it comes to this.
So now I'm pretty positive that I want to join the military. I tooled around a bit with the Army National Guard recruiter a few months ago, but decided I'd go to school again to see if I liked it any better. Well I don't, so Maryland Army National Guard here I come! Now it's just deciding which job I want to have. I'm kind of stuck between being a crewman on an M1A1 Abrams or being a mortarman....they both appeal to me about the same. I guess I'll have to talk with him about it.
Time to start working out again too so boot camp is easier...
I just made a big mistake that I promised myself I wouldn't do...
I made another good friend (we'll call her F2). And by that I mean more than just somebody to hang out with. And it wasn't even my fault. Only today did I realize how upset she'd be if I were to leave....which means there's one more person I have to consider when I decide to leave...that sucks out loud!
That means there's only my family and these 2 people I have to worry about when I do decide to leave. Fortunately one of them is moving to England in a little over a month so I think she'll be out of the picture (we'll call her F1). Hopefully when F1 leaves F2 won't talk to me as much because I met F2 through F1.
But still, I broke another promise to myself. I really don't like it...
first post in almost 2 years...crazy...
anyway, I've this friend who I got really close with and now I can't stand to be around her. History between the two of us: met in 2nd or 3rd grade, were basically best friends. she moved away, then moved back. went to high school together but only started talking in 12th grade. stopped talking once school ended. started talking 6 months ago when i dropped out of college at UMBC. I went through a really rough spot and basically told her everything I was feeling (and at the time I was feeling suicidal). I've never opened up to anybody before until her. But now that I'm fine I can't really stand to be around her. Whenever I'm around her I get annoyed and depressed. She says I'm one of her best friends, but I'm finding it hard to believe that....I really just don't want to have anything to do with her anymore. She's a nice person and all, but I just feel that since I've opened up to her and she knows who I am deep down, that I can't be friends with her. I like being friends with people on a surface-basis (that's all I really know what to call it). They don't really know what I feel, and they only know the smiling, laughing, joking person that I normally am. But this one girl knows that I'm not always that way, and it's pissing me the fuck off.
Fortunately for me she's moving away again and I'll be done with her, probably forever. It's not that I hate her, it's just that I really can't stand being around her. It's nothing she did...it's all me, and I'd like to tell her but I know she'll take it the wrong way and blame herself.
Damnit, I hate being stuck...and I'm fucking stuck right now with this life I'm living....there's no possible way to change it.
